It's been a while since my last post. A lot has happened in my life, which has somehow changed me. As I've grown older—I'm now in my 30—I still feel somewhat clueless. I don't know what direction to take in my life. I still love the same things, doing what my younger self always enjoyed. The only thing I've realised that's changed is the way I perceive things.

Nothing seems permanent.

Time keeps moving forward.

It's unsettling how my desire for solitude has grown as I've grown older. I find comfort in my small, close-knit circle—just my family and best friends. I no longer feel the need to expand my social network. Even at work, I prefer to interact only with those I directly collaborate with. Small talk irritates me, and engaging with strangers doesn't interest me. 

I find solace in my own little world.

I truly value my freedom and solitude.

After my beloved grandma's passing last October and my dad had a stroke, my life changed quite drastically. An empty void appeared in my heart, and nothing will ever be the same. But what's truly scary is that this is just how life works. I used to feel indifferent when people would say, "Well, that's life." The only thing that counters this fear is realising that I'm not alone in experiencing such loss in this world. However, witnessing how each person reacts and feels differently also makes me question: Should I really be feeling this melancholy?

Clearly, I overthink again.

#1 Emotional Baggage

#2 Kindness Wins

#3 The Boyfriend

#4 Success is Nothing Without Someone You Love to Share It With

#5 Ethical

It's been two years since my last post on this blog. I occasionally wrote down my thoughts or simply created notes on my phone but I just ended up putting them as draft and never actually publish them.

Two years have gone by quickly and I would say that there are many small changes in my life which I am grateful for.

During my absence on this blog, I actually managed to create a new blog for my small business' website that I dedicate for my admiration and interest towards K-POP.

Just like any other Pisces in general, I like to observe and see things from a deeper perspective. Even with my interest in K-POP, I always want to know what it has taught me and how it has pushed me to become a better person. Because there is no point of spending my energy on something that does not give me anything good in return. Therefore, I often catch myself busy in my very own thoughts even when I am interested in something. 

It actually feels good to have something that can energise and entertain you on your hard days. At this moment, there is no particular thing that excites me more other than K-POP and travelling. And that's okay, as I also try to embrace this life which now has slowly becoming 'normal' again. Although it cannot go back exactly the same as it used to be before Covid. We all have changed.

The last two years was a real challenge to me. In 2020 every human being experienced the same worry and anxiety and therefore, it felt like we were on the same boat. However, in 2021 - 2022, I had many ups and downs to figure out who I was and what I really wanted to pursue in this life. Although I still have not got the answer yet but I think I have made an agreement with myself to firstly achieve peace in heart and hopefully, the rest will follow. Then, you started to realise that it's actually a never-ending process that you have to work on. 

I was not a person with new year resolutions. But this year, I somehow know this is going to be great. Like it's finally a year for me to find the zest for life and get back up again. So, I made myself some resolutions.

I make my self busy by learning new things. I take classes after work which sometimes exhausts me physically but well, yeah.. no pain, no gain.

It also comes to my realisation that being an adult sometimes means that you have to understand that at some point in time you will have different life paths with your friends or people at your age in general.  And even though you might be standing alone, you've got to be strong and stay responsible for the path that you are on, with your own integrity.

I will be back blogging and hopefully, there will be chances for me to travel a lot this year. I will also create contents for EDDMAYR blog and I think it will be fun.